Marriage Advice, 3 years in

Happy Monday lovelies!

As some of you know, last week Michael and I celebrated three years of marriage! We took Wednesday to ourselves…brunching, a little shopping, and capping off the night with a delicious Italian dinner…and lots of wine  😉

My favorite part of the whole day was re-capping the past 3 years over pasta & focaccia bread. We talked about all of our adventures together, all the tiny apartments, how I only used to cook macaroni & cheese and hamburgers, the friends we’ve made along the way, the ups & downs, and everything in between. It was a day full of “remember whens…” and I loved it!

Since last Wednesday, I’ve been reflecting on our marriage, and all the things I’ve had to learn to make it work. It’s crazy to think back on who I was before we got married, and how I’ve grown since then. So, I started to write down a few things I’ve learned along the way and thought I’d share them here…in no particular order.

– Compromise. I never thought I was bad at compromising until I had to share everything with someone else. Whew!

– Help your spouse become the best version of him/herself. This one is kind of a loaded thought and breaks down into a bunch of smaller thoughts such as: supporting their dreams…helping them outgrow bad habits (as opposed to getting annoyed and fighting about it)…building them up with your words…meeting them in their struggles to help them overcome…encouraging their growth (as opposed to hindering it)…etc.

– Selflessness. Marriage is at its best when each participant puts the other first. Think how peaceful your marriage would be if every single day you put your spouse first, and your spouse puts you first.

– Learn how they receive love. Read up on the 5 love languages, and learn how each other receives love. Michael and I receive love in a totally different way, and by default we give love the way we want to receive love…but over the years, we’ve learned to instead give love the way the other wants to receive it. Just to make it easy for you the 5 ways people express love are: words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service & physical touch. Obviously, every marriage needs all 5, but I do think that we all have our fave.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” -C.S. Lewis

I’ll leave you with one of ONLY family pics we have…that’s sad, isn’t it.